Remembering who we really are is one of the most critical parts of our human and leadership journey. If we don’t have the courage to own our identity, the world will own it…will own us.
What do you believe about yourself? About others? About the world?
When I first sat with these questions, the answers that came up for me were rooted in fear: I am not enough. People cannot be trusted. The world is a dangerous place.
With these beliefs as my foundational operating system, I made a lot of choices that limited my growth, inhibited my relationships, and negatively impacted my daily life.
The sad truth is that most of us today are walking around with a similar set of fear-based beliefs, and we are actively limiting our own ability to live a good life.
I know this because week after week I have courageous clients willing to share the reality of their inner world with me. That sharing, being willing to honestly lay out what is inside you with no judgment, but with compassion and curiosity, that is the first step in owning your identity.
Our lived experience and world around us shapes us. Until we become aware of how it has, we cannot know and live into the truth: we were created to love and be loved. That is the core of each and every one of our identities. When we remember and live in alignment with this truth, we move toward freedom. No person or system can control us.
In our society it is advantageous for systems and people who want power and control to make us believe that we are not enough, no one can be trusted, and the world is a dangerous place. These fears keep us trapped in a cycle of self-loathing, divisiveness, and hate. We perceive scarcity, and so we consume and compete.
That cycle leaves us feeling stressed and oppressed. So we consume and compete some more. Pretty soon that’s the identity we assume. It dims our light, damages our relationships, and slowly kills our soul without us even noticing. We are doing things because we feel obligated to, and because we are desperate.
When we operate from love, peace, and wholeness which is who we really are…the identity we must remember and own…we create and cooperate (vs. consume and compete). The desire we have for doing comes from a motivation to serve others. It is rooted in love, not fear. It feels life-giving instead of draining. This way of living doesn’t require hit after hit after hit of something new because there is no void to fill.
Are you ready to take the next step in owning your identity? Taking it back from people and systems trying to own it for you?
It starts with being honest about how you really feel. Are you feeling stressed and oppressed? It may be time to admit that what has been is no longer working. You are not alone! The wisest humans in our world are those who have stepped back and re-envisioned who they are and how they live over and over and over.
Then invite someone into the conversation. This is a normal human journey, but only the most courageous among us will choose to face it and do something different. A friend, counselor, coach or other trusted person can be a great source of perspective and encouragement.
I’ve witnessed dozens and dozens of clients get free simply by stating their fears, or saying out loud for the first time what is no longer working. You have the answers to the next steps inside you, but you have to have the courage to surrender what is to open up to what could be.
Another source of support I will offer is my book, Take It All Apart: How to Live, Lead, and Work with Intention. This book was written to help people remember who they are, and to offer frameworks and questions to get free and live into your potential.
This process is one of healing. There is no “place to arrive” or “problem to solve.” It is an invitation to a new way of living that will require difficult belief and behavioral shifts, because it is our beliefs and behaviors that create the world we live in. I often say, “nothing has to change for everything to change.”
When we heal and are transformed, everything changes. Even if the external world and our circumstances may remain the same, the way we feel and the impact we can have on the world changes. That can, and will, change everything.
For those who are reading this and are in a good place, feeling free…get out there and support others in their journey. What you know and believe matters and needs to be shared! We all play a part in helping create the world we want. It starts with our own healing and committing to that eternal journey, and then extending that healing to others as we can. I hope everyone reading will commit to the journey of restoration.
Written by: Lindsay Leahy, Dream Builder with The Restoration Project
